Football Quotes...

"He left the same way he arrived - fired with enthusiasm" -- Joe Lovejoy of the Sunday Times on the sacking of Graham Taylor as England Manager.

"England have not won a game for three months. The fact that we have not played one is irrelevant. Graham Taylor should hang, and so should his successor" -- Item in Viz, September, 1993.

"The only mates he had in all his time at Liverpool were straight out of the vending machine" -- Tommy Smith on Emlyn Hughes

"A million wouldn't buy him, and I'd be one of them" -- Bill Shankley

"I used to go missing a lot - Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss Germany" -- George Best.

"The symbol of peace....the pigeon!" -- RTE's Jimmy Magee at the 1982 World Cup finals opening ceremony.

"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!" -- RTE's George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992.

"Ach, not the Dutch again You are all assholes anyway and Adolf should have gotten rid of you" -- Lothar Mattaus after being cornered by a Dutch TV camera crew at Bayern Munich's training ground in 1994.

"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams" -- Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia.

"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones"  -- Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LCQF, 1992.

"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guyto hang around in defence" -- NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.

"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" -- George Best.

"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent" -- Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.

"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on" -- John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs" -- Andy Gray, Sky Sport.

Richard Keys : "Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league?"

Roy Evans: "You have to finish above everyone to win the league Richard."

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen" -- Terry Venables, Capital Gold.

"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the scoreon Saturday" -- Radio 5 Live.

"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money" -- Newcastle United Fan, Radio 5 Live.

"I'm not a believer in luck but I do believe you need it" -- Alan Ball.

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different" -- Trevor Brooking.

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead" -- Tom Ferrie.

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley unless somebody knocks us out" -- Dave Bassett

"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds" -- Peter Jones.

"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponent's goal" -- Jimmy Hill.

"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins" -- Brian Moore

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer" -- David Acfield

"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio" -- Gerry Francis.

"John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday" -- New York Post (1993).

"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers" -- Mick Lyons

"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head" -- Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994).

"The crowd think that Todd handled the ball they must have seen something that nobody else did" -- Barry Davies (1975).

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel" -- Stuart Pearce (1992).

Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?".

Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty -fifty".

"There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch" -- Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39.

"Manchester United take more in programme sales than we take on the gate" -- Lawrie McMenemy, Southampton.

"If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim" -- Berti Vogts, Germany coach.

"You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey" -- Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach, defending a meagre playing record.

"Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time" -- Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach.

"I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted me" -- John Motson, France v Bulgaria

"Why didn't you just belt it son?" -- Gareth Southgate's mother reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss.

"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee" --Possibly the greatest football analogy ever from QPR boss Ian Holloway following an uninspired win against Chesterfield